You Can Go No Further
“You Can Go No Further”
That was the message I received from Google maps on a recent adventure.
Seriously…I thought to myself. This is the 21st Century! I have all the tech support Captain Kirk and Han Solo could only dream of having! And it was all in the palm of my hand.
And yet…there I was. At the crossroads of asphalt and dirt…a cul-de-sac that had given me an ominous warning.
You can go no further.
Of course I can I said to myself. I just need a different guide. (Cue Twilight Zone soundtrack)
I remembered similar moments in my life…when I realized that I would need a new guide.
When my Dad told me he wouldn’t be able to teach me how to swim…he didn’t know how.
When my soccer coach said he couldn’t coach me at the next level…he didn’t have the acumen.
When the man discipling me in college said I would need to take my questions up the food chain.
When my kids told me to use Apple Care.
Then there were the times I realized I…(emphasis on I)…was the one who needed to acknowledge my limitations.
Essentially I had to say: “I can take you no further.”
When I couldn’t coach my kids in soccer and volleyball.
When I didn’t know enough to help them get to the next level.
When I would actually GET IN WAY of their progress, success and enjoyment of said activity.
Recently I learned from my son that he was meeting with older gentleman for the purpose of discipleship and mentoring. One of the Elders at our church. A good friend and an even better man. I smiled.
Then I frowned.
Am I not good enough for my son?
Can I not answer his questions…explain mysteries better than “the other guy?”
Aren’t I better at pickleball, surfing and all the essentials of maturing manhood?
Why did he ditch me…?
I could take him no further.
And I was aware of my own limitations. The importance of having “other” men in his life…and in my life as well. The value of other, older, godly men who would pass on their experience, strength and hope to my son.
“Though you have many teachers, you do not have many fathers…”
1 Corinthians 4:15
Fathers, may I urge us to celebrate with our sons when the Father gives them ANOTHER man to take the baton of continuing what you have begun? You will ALWAYS be Dad…but you and he need to welcome other, godly perspectives and space that will allow him to continue the trajectory you have launched him on. From other “fathers.”
And may I urge ALL men (yes you) to INTENTIONALLY look for younger men with whom you may have found yourself taking an unconditional, Christlike interest in. Though we have many podcasts, we do not have many fathers.
Becoming a father is a wonderful thing.
Celebrating the arrival of a new “father” is too.
Critical Care Training: July 30 – August 27
Join us for a 5-week training designed to equip trustworthy men to be the first line of care and accountability for men in crisis. This course will not train you to be a counselor, but a steady checkpoint of support — helping men move toward repentance, restoration, and connection to their local church.
Wednesdays, July 30 – August 27
6:15am – 7:30am
167 Palos Verdes Blvd, Redondo Beach, CA 90277 (Upstairs from Pill Box Pharmacy)
If that stirs something in you, sign up here: https://forms.gle/8Q46mLKG7FcZMTvMA
5 Things Learned on the River
Sword & Shovel recently went back to the Kernville for our third annual trek down the Class IV Lower Kern River. We had a BLAST! Nineteen men, ages 15-71 successfully navigated the 16 mile stretch, with only two new members joining the Kern River Swim Team (names not mentioned to protect to guilty!) We enjoyed a pre-trip homemade dinner courtesy of Bob and Terry Higgins, long-time King’s Harbor Church members and Kern cabin owners. The morning included breakfast burritos at the Big Blue Bear…then it was time to launch!
Afterward we broke bread at the Kern River Brewery and debriefed the days’ events. Here is a list of some of the key takeaways from the group when we discussed this question: “How is white water rafting like life?”
First, rafting is better when you are with other men.
The laughter, the work, and the camaraderie are more than half of the experience and the fun!
Second, it is ESSENTIAL to have others with you on the journey “down the river.”
Not only is it more enjoyable…it is MANdatory to have do life with other men. A man in his own company is in Bad Company. We get in our heads. We are prone to assume the worst…or sometimes the best, about our current circumstances. “Pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.” Or back in the raft.
Third, there is an unseen force at work in the raft (and in life). While each boat holds upwards of six paddlers, there is a guide in the back of each raft with two large oars attached to the side of the vessel. He is ALWAYS paddling and maneuvering the raft…even when the rest of us are simply enjoying the view. When we are paddling furiously to avoid danger, the guide is skillfully doing the unseen heavy lifting behind us, outside of our peripheral vision. We MIGHT be fooled into thinking that we “did it ourselves!” Alas, our Father is always at work…never sleeping or slumbering.
Fourth, the river is stronger than it looks.
In light of the recent tragedy in Texas, we have all seen the deadly power that an unrestrained body of rushing water can have. Being someone who has grown up by the beach my whole life, and been an active surfer for about 35 years of my 64, I know the power of the ocean. I know what it is like to take the full weight of a 8-10 foot wave on my head That being said, there is a deceptive quality to the undercurrent of a rushing river. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 7 that the water will rise, the winds will blow. Life, like the river, requires wisdom to navigate both.
Fifth, life is often about crossing Jordans and slaying giants.
Israel was confronted by both. The Jordan and the Giant. They posed both real and imagined threats. And in the case of the Israelites, prevented them from the life that is truly life. That is, until two men led by the courage and power of God, confronted the fears that leveraged the people. While rafting the Kern isn’t quite the same thing, it is a reminder that life is a series of fears to overcome. For those who went, and have gone before, we can check that box.
Join us next time!
Hope and Healing Are Possible.
62% of men report struggling with sexual addiction or pornography, yet only 1 in 10 churches offer support. In this powerful conversation, our Executive Director Chris Cannon shares his personal journey; from early exposure to pornography to finding healing through grace, confession, and brotherhood.
If you're struggling, you're not alone. There is hope, help, and freedom.
Watch the full conversation below.